Want To Be Able To Read People? Try These 9 Tips From Body Language Experts

Everything from facial movements to voice pitch to body positioning can help tell a story. To help us decipher those micro-expressions, we spoke with body language experts on their top tips and tricks for reading people.

Most of us have experienced moments when words escape us. We get too nervous, too shy, or too overwhelmed by emotions to think and speak clearly. In these instances, nonverbal cues speak for us. Since conversations are two-sided, that typically means the other person is left to read those nonverbals.

Oftentimes, body language can be compartmentalized into "negative" or "positive," body language expert Blanca Cobb, M.S., tells mbg. When someone's body tenses up, that's a common "negative" expression, which may be related to stress, discomfort, or anger. On the other hand, "positive" body language—like relaxing the body or resting comfortably—can indicate happiness and trust. 

The typical pitch of someone's voice can alter depending on their mood. For example, when a person is sad, their voice tends to deflate, Cobb says. This means they'll talk in a lower octave and at a slower rate. Faster, peppier, or more cheerful voices tend to indicate happiness. 

"When you're in fight-or-flight, the brain is releasing hormones and neurotransmitters, and cortisol will start flowing," she explains. "That increases your blood pressure and your heart rate, and your breathing becomes shallow and fast."

This one may sound strange, but Cobb says when a person's fingers have a slight curve, it likely means they're at ease. "We don't walk around with fully extended fingers," she says, "it looks weird. When you have that natural curvature and there's no tension, that lets you know someone's feeling all right." 

On the other hand, if someone is fearful or uninterested, they may lean back. It's important to take in all the context clues in these situations, especially.

Just as some people will extend their fingertips in stressful situations, others may ball up their fists or tighten their grip. "If someone is already holding a glass or a mug, they may start to hold it tighter," Cobb says. "You have this pent-up energy that your body has to release." 

"Breathing becomes shallow, and movements of the hands and head become quick and jerky," Rouse explains. "Of course, that all depends on the level of nervousness."

There are actually several different types of smiles, according to body language expert David Matsumoto, Ph.D.:

And in case you're curious: A recent study found the most identifiable flirty facial expression to be a slight smile with the head turned to one side, chin turned slightly down, and eye contact with the subject of affection.

Whether you're speaking virtually or in person, it's important to get the big picture. In other words, don't just read the facial expressions. Also take in other context clues like the body language or the verbal cues. 

If there's ever a situation where you're feeling uncertain, it's important to ask questions and gain clarity before acting. 

"You can't read minds if you know body language," Rouse says. "But you can make better decisions about what the person you're talking to or observing is going through or might do next."